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What to do when your child bites.

20/04/2018

What to do when your child bites

Biting is a normal part of development for babies and toddlers. They use their mouths to explore the world. Up to the age of 2 children tend to put everything into their mouths, from their hands to their toys. Children generally grow out of this type of biting by the age of 2, but if your toddler continues to bite, you need to understand why.

At around the age they go to nursery school, children go through what we can call a biting phase, during which they bite anyone who happens to cross their path: brothers and sisters, friends, teachers or patents.

If up to now they have used their mouths to explore the world, they now use their mouths to express other feelings, which very often are frustration and the desire to draw attention.

If your child bites, you may feel embarrassed and worried about other parents making judgements. Try to remember that many parents have been through this with their own child. It's how you handle it that matters the most. Calmly point out the consequences of his actions, using a firm and clear tone of voice: “Look, your friend is crying because he’s hurt.” Tell him that it's wrong to bite people, and you're unhappy about what he's done and that he mustn’t do it again.

Don’t blame other children: if your child bites a child he is playing with, don't accuse the other child (or his parents) of doing something wrong. Even if is true, biting is not the answer.

Don’t show your child that you’re angry. It may be tempting to give your child a gentle bite yourself, to show him how it feels. But this will just send the message that aggression is acceptable, and he won't understand why he's not allowed to do it himself. Remember that children imitate you: if they see Mum and Dad doing something they will feel that they can do it too!

As in any other situation, you need to understand what is triggering this behaviour in your child to help and guide him. If your child bites because he is angry, make him understand that it’s fine to be angry but not to bite!

Don’t shout at him from another room, because it won’t stop him doing what he’s doing. It may be useful to create a pattern: kneel down so that you are on the same level as your child, hold his hand and look into his eyes. As you look into his eyes talk to him, tell him calmly but firmly, why what he is doing is wrong.

Above all, try not to worry. As we have already said, biting (up to the age of about 2) is quite normal and children usually grow out of this type of biting all on their own.

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