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Dealing with the Toddler tantrum and NO phase.


Dealing with the Toddler tantrum and NO phase.

No, I don’t want that.. no, no, no!: did you ever imagine your toddler might reduce you to tears over a simple thing such as getting dressed?

This is the answer you get every time you try to get your toddler to do something! It’s the so-called “no-phase”, which your toddler goes through when he is about two, and rarely lasts more than a year or so.

Fear not, as with everything in parenthood ‘it’s just a phase: and one for which there is a solution

The way the “NO and tantrum phase” plays out, depends on the personality of your child and is a milestone in his or her growth. Even though it’s complicated, your child needs to experience this phase to define his identity: we need to deal with it and help our toddler overcome this phase.

There is generally a reason behind these tantrums that makes your toddler want to rebel. It is more important than ever before to set rules and be an authoritative but understanding parent.

Most of the NOs you’ll be hearing are about food and bedtime: important times of the day for children and parents alike.

If your child refuses to go to bed it may be because he is afraid of being abandoned or he hasn’t been given bedtime rules. If so, be firm but gentle and loving with your child: one of the one common mistakes parents make is to let their children stay up as long as they want. So stay calm and don’t raise your voice: a firm but gentle tone has more effect on your child than screaming and shouting. Read your child a fairytale or let him have his favourite plush toy; create a routine that your toddler enjoys to make bedtime as pleasant as possible.

If your child refuses to eat, relax. If you toddlers says “No, I don’t want that”, just shrug your shoulders and say “fine”. The most common mistake is to give your child something else when he refuses the food you put on the table: this will make your toddler think he can get anything he wants. Your child may be refusing not only the food you are giving him, but mealtimes as such: getting your child to help prepare the meal or set the table may be a way of getting him involved, making mealtimes truly special.

So parents, managing the “no” phase is certainly not going to be simple, and the most important thing is to stay calm! Behind what we commonly call tantrums, our child may be telling us that he doesn’t like something or expressing his own personality as an individual.


Your job is to keep calm and help your children grow up as happily as possible, because growing up is an extraordinary adventure, but also lots of hard work!