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Teaching our kids to be kind!

13/04/2018

Teaching our kids to be kind

Teaching manners to our children is a task that we parents deal with every single day. Today we want to talk about a topic that is dear to us all, kindness, not merely good manners, but using empathy and intelligence in our dealings with others. How can we teach our kids to be kind?

This is a trait you will notice in different ways throughout the different stages of your child’s development. From 2 to 6 years, without the help of their parents, children are unlikely to be “well-mannered”. At that age they tend to focus on themselves, and almost exclusively on their own personal self-interest, regardless of anyone else.

Teaching your kids simple rules of good manners (that all children of preschool age should slowly learn), helps them become more aware of the needs of those around and more respectful, in general, in specific situations.

Start by placing attention on others. Parents (quite rightfully) tend to focus on the happiness and success of their own children, rather than that of others. But it is from their parents that children must learn how to care about others. For example, instead of saying to your child: “the most important thing is for you to be happy” try saying “the most important thing is for you to be kind”.

Give your children the opportunity to experience what it’s like to care about others and feel thankful. These are traits that may be learnt, just as you learn how to play a new sport or a musical instrument. So whether it’s helping a friend or Mummy with chores, make sure that your child learns to care about others according to his or her personality, teaching your children to be kind every single day. And learning to be grateful is just as important.

Children acquire ethical values by observing the actions of the adults they respect. That is why parents must become models of kindness and good manners for their children. Which does not mean you have to be perfect! If we want our children to respect and trust us, we need to admit our mistakes and faults. We must also learn to respect the opinion of our children, showing them, by example, that it is important to listen to others.

Finally, remember that you also need to help your child deal with negative feelings. Often kindness and empathy towards others are overshadowed by anger, shame, envy or other negative feelings. Our task is to teach children that all feelings are fine, even negative ones! What they need to learn is how to deal with negative feelings constructively, rather than a destructive manner.

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